Sunny days are here again, and the rain is coming, finally. We had a dry spell for almost 6 weeks and that in April. Why complain? The summer came early or spring was more summer like than ever before.
It was nice being home, enjoying every minute. Working in the garden, doing the house stuff like everybody else. Home feels more like home with everyday passing. And to be honest, I love it. It has been a few weeks now and slowly the living together is feeling more like it should feel. (That is from what I think it should feel).
The last time home, a period where we talked a lot, about us, about what we think the us should be. It is funny when two separate people project their vision of what “us” should, would or could be. Communication, the subject of so many relationship issues, talk shows and “ask Sally” columns in magazines. Communications seem to be on track, and working. My past relationships never ever got this far. Why? Because talking is giving away secrets, making you vulnerable, open to the dangers that are hidden. A little talk was possible but opening up, hell no!!!! Life in the world, and even more the gay one, is dangerous enough. We are influenced by so many things, movies, books and the lives of others. So I decided not to open up fully, be careful not to fall in these traps that damaged so many relationships. Me, I was planning on staying safe, surviving.
So there I am, many years later, in love (again) and even married. Things are different, so much different. Feelings seem to be more intense this time, be they fear happiness or even anger. When anger came around last time, it was more than clear that the communication lines needed to be updated; the old ones were way out of date. We move forward when it comes to everyday communications, letters became email, or when there is not much to say we use sms. The letterbox is gathering more dust than mail lately. The lines from one person to another within the relationship just seem to be at the level of the first line just tested by Graham Bell. We do understand each other but the sound is somewhat garbled. We need to re-master our relationship lines, move them into the digital world. So much has changed but our love and the way we handle it, is that up-to-date?
With the upgrade, do we need more speed? A bigger hard drive? Just the lines I think need the update, so lets get wireless with our feelings. Still use a security protocol; we do not want others to surf along. So I updated my lines, I opened up the lines and streamlined them a little more, and see; there was a better clear line. With the upgrade came a faster exchange. So it is true, new lines better communications. After testing it for the weekend I am happy I did.
Funny thing about it, even though we took our communication into the next century, the medieval charm still exists. We only use the internet to look for the poems and stories once enchanted only a few, now we all have access to the world of so many others that are in love. We share so much and I truly believe that we are all looking for the same thing. Reading the blogs and so many other stories, I found that we are like many others. Being gay or heterosexual, it doesn’t matter in the end we want to be together and have this comforting warm feeling, every day in our lives.
Since the middle-ages things changed and so did we, but love is still love. Although I believe that over the years we found more ways to make it harder to fall in love and be satisfied. With all that happens in the world we seem to want more out of it, to forget that we are in this world, or at least relax from it. Compare your self to sir knight; he did not have to worry about a mortgage, or a car loan, not even about his credit card overdraft. He just got off his horse climbed the tower and be very romantic to the lady in distress.
He did not use his navigational system to find the rosebush and had to valet park his Porsche and check his blackberry for a new message from princess, because she might be busy. Even checking for the right climbing gear at Ebay didn’t stop him. Prince charming just did it; so why don’t we just do it? Just fall in love? Because we got modernized. Evolution is a good thing that is what we are made to believe. Yeah, right!!!! Instead of just having your armor to put on, we now stand in front of our closet, after we finished the gym, and wonder what to wear, Armani, Gucci or even Prada?
No, I don’t want to go back to hours of horse-riding and heavy sweating armor, but they saved time in the direct approach. Here we are the modern human, and we find ourselves in careful planning and managing for the same thing. But at least we communicate. We communicate using old verses, poems and things we find on the internet. Within our conversation we find that we want the simple things in life, honesty and respect. Fact: nothing has changed.
We, we had our conversation and modern life did make things so much easier as we were made to believe. It is good things change; what would we do without so many modern things? But relationship wise, we go back the simple things. We found our way to come back to the simple beginnings of what our love, relationship should be like. Talking about how each of us came to the point we are now, and be open and direct about it. Straight lines and normal views about things, these things made it possible.
We are two different people with one thing in common; the wish to make it together. Realizing we still have to go through things but we face them together and we will grow closer to each other. Modern times made it possible for us to find each other. Old ways now have to take care that we make it to the end. Step by step in a normal pace, not rushing into things. In our way we are gonna be “old-fashioned” in our modern world.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Another warm day is ending, another clear night is starting, somehow I like looking at the night sky, and thinking; sir knight, when you looked up you saw the same, because no one yet did think about digitally re-mastering the sky, and to me no one ever should!
A last thought before going inside and to bed, into the arms of my loved one: “Love is to the heart what the summer is to the farmer's year -- it brings to harvest all the loveliest flowers of the soul.”
Good night stars……..
